Hate the Sin, Love the Sinner (full summary inside)
by Lidsworth
Summary: A one night stand results in an unplanned pregnancy. To preserve her image, Anko gets an abortion. Most of the village supports her, however, Iruka is judgmental as always and adds his two cents to it. An argument ensues and a friendship is broken. A year passes and Anko isn't herself, she regrets the decision and internally crumbles for it. That is, until an old friend helps.
1. The Deed

**AN: This story contains abortion! Some of you may be deeply offended by that, but I advise you to read to the end. Just some random thought I developed in my head while sitting in theology class. It's a sensitive issue i'm tackling, so hopefully I won't screw up (don't think I will though), anyway, here's the summary:**

**When a one night stand at a jounin party results in an unplanned pregnancy that threatens to ruin Anko's image and interfere with her duty as a shinobi, she does the quickest thing to erase the matter; she get's an abortion. The entire village supports her choice, it's her right anyway. However, when Iruka decides to at his two cents into the matter, Anko dismisses him as being judgmental and uncaring. But, a year later, Anko isn't Anko anymore and she finds herself regretting her choice day by day. She crumbles but finds comfort in the person she least expected.**

**Shorter summary: A one night stand results in an unplanned pregnancy. To preserve her image, Anko gets an abortion. Most of the village supports her, however, Iruka is judgmental as always and adds his two cents to it. An argument ensues and a friendship is broken. A year passes and Anko isn't herself, she regrets the decision and internally crumbles for it. However, she finds comfort in the last person she expected to offer it to her.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, just the idea.**

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Hate the Sin, Love the Sinner.

"I don't think you should do it"

A symbolical road block obscured her path, the words of her friend had hit like a rock shattering glass.

They had been in a crowded area of the village, and with missions at a halt, most ninja were out, mingling with each other and catching up with one another. These "mingles" had often resulted in a date for a get together/ party event, particularly amongst the jounin. Chunin...they didn't have time for such a thing, and usually the jounin did not prefer their company.

It was one of these "get togethers" that had caused Anko's problem, that had caused her to draw her conclusion. She hadn't even remembered the man, only the strong smell of alcohol that clung to his shirt, the sweet words he uttered in her ears, the soft caresses, the gently squeezing of her breast...his actions served only as vestige, and a day later, when Anko remained nude in a vacant bed, she wondered just exactly who he was.

Weeks later, when the thought of the mystery man had just nearly evaporated, the memory barely discernable, a small totemic had presented itself inside of Anko's body.

Morning sickness, a missed period and a cheap pregnancy test had confirmed Anko's speculations.

She was pregnant, or technically, she was the host of a complex clump of cells. Now certain aspects of her life had been put on the line.

Her job, her honor, her reputation...Anko wasn't ready to be called, "Mommy" just yet, not now, not ever. She could seek out the "father", give it a try. She decided against it though, she hardly knew anything about him.

So the answer was simple and clean. There were options in Konoha, clinics to aid her. Of course she'd need reassurance, reassurance that she had gotten the next day. She'd resigned to asking her closest friends what they believed she should do. Like she assumed, they support her decision to abort.

_"You're a valuable ninja"_ some would say.

_"I can't imagine you being a "mommy""_ And honestly, she couldn't either.

_"You'll no longer be the "happy-go-lucky" Anko,"_ other's had warned her, and she agreed wholeheartedly.

With the world on her side, Anko gathered her bearing and made her choice. Abortion was easy, quick, and clean. An unwanted pregnancy would surely ruin her, and honestly, she wouldn't make a good mom anyway. It was her choice, her right to do this, no one could stop her.

But then, why was he trying to? She guessed it was because her old friend was a teacher, because his soften brain had allowed him to see what a mere "clump of cells" would eventually be. Due to his unskillfulness, he worked with them, these "clumps of cells" on a daily basis, so Anko could only guess were his unwanted empathy was stemming from.  
Yet, she hadn't asked for his opinion, not him, she didn't want it. Knowing him, knowing his values of life, she already knew what he was going to say.

She was a jounin, she had a "real" job, he was a chunin, a mere babysitter. How on earth would this teacher understand what a child could do to a jounin's reputation, it was a major issue, a life changing issue!

He, her friend, blocked her way to freedom, blocked her way to her choice. She wasn't having second thoughts now, Anko never had second thoughts.

She yelled, complained, and bore her anger out to him, at the same time, she severed a bridge. She did it in public, she wanted people to hear her, wanted people to know what she felt and how wrong this mere chunin was for telling her otherwise. As those who supported her joined in, the argument exacerbated to a nasty yelling dispute.

At the end, Anko was victorious, her "friend" the chunin was silenced for his opinion, red in the face and walking away angrily. He wasn't alone though, a red eyed pale skinned woman walked with him, calming him down the best she could, her piercing gaze burning into Anko's soul as she looked over her shoulder.

Anko, however, didn't care. At the end of the day, the "clump of cells" had been removed from her body. A burden was gone at the cost of a life, the end of a friendship, and Anko Mitarashi went on with her own life.

Or at least tried to.

**Just a free verse. Blame theology class and endless debates on abortion and the new Pope :/. This is an interesting p.o.v to write from, i've never done it before. So, part two will be up...soon. This is passive, i'm sorry if you don't like it that way.**

**Anyway, review and make me happy. I've had a terrible day. This is proofread, so there should be no mistakes. However, don't be scared to tell me if there is. Have a nice week and God bless (let's all pray that the government doesn't shut down).**


	2. Spring Transitions

**AN: THe last time I even updated was like 9-30-13 (blame Junior year), anyway, i've put a lot of thought into this chapter, so i'd appreciate a good amount of feedback, even if you completely hated it. I know this is a touchy subject, but i'm just curious to see how I can transpire this into writing. Anyway, on to chapter 2/3, hope you enjoy. Remember, REVIEW! **

**Disclaimer: I do now own Naruto. **

**Spring Transitions**

Anko had convinced herself to grow accustomed to the constant absence of children roaming her apartment.

It had been a little over a year since her abortion, and she felt herself detaching from reality. Every child she saw she believed was hers, every high pitched shrill or cry or wail given of by a baby, she believed belonged to her children as well. However, again and again she'd reminded herself of what she did, remind herself that there were no children in the beginning, that they'd been tossed in a black trash bag and had been disposed of over a year ago.

Twins, the doctor had told her, she was going to have twins. They weren't entirely sure about the genders, but for certain, the doctors had scraped two bodies out of her womb that day. That day she tried to ignore it, that week she drowned herself in sake and ignored the twinge of guilt that embodied itself in the pit of her stomach, that month she recoiled at the sight of children, that year she avoided Iruka until he disappeared.

He was a teacher, his very presence reeked with the scent of children as well as the joy they came with. She wasn't ready to face that beacon of light.

Not then, and not ever.

When the sake did nothing to numb the thoughts, she buried herself in work and took as many missions as she could. She did anything to forget.

Countless times her co-workers asked her what was wrong, why she was so distant, why she wasn't Anko anymore.

She'd give anything to say, "Because i'm a mother and I need to be responsible," but she couldn't, unless being the mother of two dead children counted. So she lied, told them she was tired, had too much sake, just didn't feel well.

They had their speculations, espeically those who supported her choice, but they never knew for certain. When her lies failed, she answered with a lie that shut them all up for good, "I'm a ninja and i'm tired of killing people." She silenced them, they could all relate.

Once, she went to the cemetery, she must have been incredibly drunk, she asked if she could bury her two children. Puzzled as he was, the funeral director obliged to her request, then asked where the bodies were. In the trash, she had told him.

He sent for someone to come and take her home.

Everyone had heard of that, ninja and civilian alike, an all knew of her pain. And so a year and a half later, Anko completely isolated herself from the world. She even stopped her missions. She was rich enough, and besides, whenever she took a mission, she encountered children. Boys and girls, poor and rich, beautiful and precious in their own way.

Once, in the Cloud Village, she saw a pair of girls. Both had red curly hair, dark skin and ember eyes. They wore the cutest blue dresses, and Anko found herself sitting beside them and speaking to them. As young as they were, they could hardly understand her, but they said what they could at the most. She found herself thinking, "I should get my daughter that dress," or "How can I get my daughter's curls to be that big," and like always, it didn't take her long to realize there were no children to go home too, no beautiful daughters waiting at her apartment.

Anko cried, she cried hard. Eventually, her wailing grew louder and louder, their parents came to her aid, asking her what was wrong and if they could help her. She didn't say anything, just ran off and returned to Konoha.

She hadn't completed the mission. She couldn't kill her target. She wanted to stop killing altogether.

OOOOOOOOOO

The birds chirped and the sun gently warmed his tan skin, Iruka smiled as he inhaled the scent of spring and new life.

In his hand was a bag of freshly made dangos, his free hand hovered above a wooden door. He'd put this off for far too long, watched his friend crumble for far too long. Spring was coming, new birth and new life were on their way, transformation was essential.

He was going to pull her out of her depression and rescue her from her despair.

With a sigh and a solid resolve, he knocked sternly on the door, announcing who he was as he did so.

For five minutes, Iruka stood there as still as a statue, calm as usual.

He expected this.

Sighing, he knocked once more, fiercer and harder, ushering a threat as he did so.

"Anko, this has gone on for far too long, if you don't answer, i'll k_"

And the door clicked unlocked, a thin and pale arm pushing it open.

"ock it down...Anko!"

Pasty and pale skin greeted him, all topped off by an empty smile.

"It's been a while," she said as she closed the door, "what's in the bag?"

"Oh_Ah, dangos…" he breaks off his sentence, unsure of what to do say next. Anko didn't look at him, instead she stared at the ground, unwillingly to drown in his innocent eyes. They'd throw all of her pain back at her, ten fold.

"Dangos?" It has been so long since she'd tasted the sweet sauce, since she'd tasted the soft dough.

"Yeah_um, I kinda wanted to talk to you first," he said so casually, so like a friend.

Akno shrugged, looking still at her feet, "If it's about the abortion, than leave."

"I wasn't going to bring that up...directly, but_" before he could finish, her hand's already fumbling at the knob, twisting it open.

The light from the outside blinded them both.

"Anko, I'm just here to talk about you, okay. I'm just worried, I just thought your abortion would be a reason why you were acting like this!" he tried to reason as a hand harshly pushed his back, "Anko please!"  
"Just GO!" she shouted loudly as she ushered him out, "Just go, why do you even care!?"

"Because_" she pushed him towards the door, but he grabbed the frame, "because i'm your friend!"

Anko shuddard at the word, it was so forgein to her.

"A "friend" wouldn't have just sat there and let me ruin my life!"

Now the only thing she could do was blame him, blame him for letting Her ruin her own life. Unlike so many others, he, along with Kurenia Yuhi, had been the only two to oppose of the abortion, "hey, do you have a set of twins in your class? What are they like?"

"I'm not answering that Anko," he responded as he held her up, "I just wanted to talk to you about you, not about your abortion."

"I'm a murderer," she said, sounding completely defeated.

"I'm a ninja, so I'm a murderer too," he replied as he dropped to the ground with her, "But it doesn't make me a bad person."

"But you don't always have a choice in the matter, and when I have to kill on the battle field, I don't either," she sighed, "but the abortion...that's what makes the two acts different."

The two sat directly across from each other, Anko close enough to lay her head on Iruka's chest. But she didn't, she completely averted his gaze.

He thought for a while, thought of what she'd just said. She was right, she did have a choice. But people who commit suicide have the choice too, but just because they kill themselves doesn't make them a bad person, he thought to himself.

"You did what you thought was right," Iruka finally supplied, "you didn't go into the clinic with the intention of killing an infant, did you?"

"But isn't that what I did? How could you even like me anymore? You're a teacher, how could you even appreciate me anymore?"

"Because even though I don't exactly like or support abortion, I know that in your heart, you never wanted to kill a child!" Iruka replied, " I know you Anko, and I know you never wanted to do it!"

"But nothing changes the fact that I did!"

"Nothing changes the fact that I've killed either, nothing changes the fact that I'm practically raising Konoha's children to be weapons_Like you, I have a choice, I have a choice to let these kids live or to let these kids die, and even now when I'm teaching them, I'm letting them die! Does that make me a bad person Anko, doing what I think is right? Sometimes it's full of loose ends, but it doesn't make me any less good."

Anko sniffled a little bit more, "Yeah, but it's still hard."

"I know it is," he smiled as he pulled her into a hug, " but it's in the past, use the future to make it better."

"How?" though muffled because her head was against his chest, he heard her clearly.

"That's up to you," Iruka replied, "I'm not you. SO I don't know what's good for you."

Anko thought for a while, thought of the likelihood that she'd be in another situation such as unprotected sex. She'd learned her lesson.

"In the next time I get pregnant again,'' she hesitated, weighing her next few words, "I'll carry the baby to term, and if I don't feel like raising it or them, I'll just put them up for adoption.

"Don't throw them into Konoha's system," Iruka quickly added, "we have a terrible adoption system."

Being practically raised by Orochimaru until she was old enough to take care of herself, Anko hadn't really understood what he met, "How would you_Oh."

He nodded, "Try Suna," he said happily, "I hear it's great there."

"Maybe," Anko, a little happier, looked towards the bag on the floor, "so, can we eat them now?"

"Oh, I almost for got about them, still hungry?"

"Starving, it feels like I haven't eaten in ages."

"They're cold now, go get ready, I'll take you out to eat, you can have as many as you like, they're on me," He said happily.

Anko beamed, "Yeah, suppose I need some outside time, give me two minutes!"

The sun shone brighter, and Iruka found himself opening the door wider. Truly, spring was on the way.

**The worst possible thing that God sowed into the minds of men has to be group projects. I'm suffering from the effects of one as we speak. Anyway, I hope you liked this chapter, sorry for such a long wait, i'll post the epilogue soon hopefully. I tried to do a good job with the argument scene, so I hoped that worked out. I beta'd this myself, but any feedback would be helpful. The main purpose of this chapter was to show that just because someone does something bad or something that we don't neccasarily agree with, it doesn't make that person evil (well, sometimes it does), but just a little insight into how I think. Anyway, may take a month for me to update next time, but oh well. Anyway, have nice week and God bless:D**


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